The concept of small talk has been a source of inspiration for many artists to perceive it as an opening to a source of greater knowledge about something or someone. Painter Paul Cezanne painted about the varied beauty of apples based on the power of observation.
His insight led him to paint dozens of paintings on these fruits that are usually not even spared a second glance and remain lying on the sideboard. This highlights the power of perception. If you are observant, you can find much deeper insight and meaning in any conversation.
Several people face difficulty in attending social events as they dread having to make small talk. Small talk is a filler conversation in which you get to know the other person better by asking small questions and then revealing certain details about yourself in order to keep up the conversation.
The topics of these conversations are usually restricted to the weather, the traffic, or the lack of parking space. We usually despise this banter for its frivolity and unproductiveness. However, what if I told you that meaningful small talk is actually not that difficult to make?
A great way to do this has been invented by Communications Expert Dr. Carol Flemming. This technique is the ARE Technique. This stands for Anchor, Reveal and Encourage.
- Anchor your conversation on the thing that you find common between you and the other person. For example, talk about a test that both of you took or talk about a party that both of you attended. This helps establish connectivity based on the similarity between the two of you.
- Reveal something about yourself because you’ve established the trust that you can reveal these details with the other person. Proceed on to revealing something about yourself that is linked to the conversation that you began. For instance, talk about how the test went and which was the easiest or the toughest part for you or talk about your experience at the party and the people that you met there.
- Once the conversation has kickstarted, encourage the other person by asking questions and their experiences. If both of you are enjoying the conversation, you can even shift your conversation to other topics.
Thus, by using this technique, one can not only do away with self-consciousness but can also obtain a great deal of information about the other person. If the above-mentioned techniques do not work for you, try starting off by complimenting someone or asking them for advice. That is sure to work. Be the one to initiate a conversation and not expect others to do so each time.
